so yea i tried talking to sumone i normally didnt talk to.........eh lets jus say i can no longer see his profile........over a brief argument u can prob see on my page on the notes....its a ridicoulous argument, and i dont see how he didnt fight it i mean he's 3 years older than me.........but w/e he's a weak ass mofo that prob jacks off to pictures of adolf hitler.

tell me how its going for u guys?:D if uve done it b, kate
DO THE EXPIRAMENT!!  other wise id really apreciate it if you would (read previos journal)

dont steal my name :D ik its awesome and creative!!!!!!

simone says:

and buzznet and facebook and all chatrooms and myspace, because its all a huge beauty contest. I have not seen ONE person on buzznets front page a hair less than gorgeas(sp?).

i mean HAVE YOU? other than the bands and stuff...

and you look at gorgeas people and all the friends they talk to are gorgeas too and its lk....*rolls eyes* anoying. yea yea those ppl are nice funny! so are us "ugly" people. maybe even more so, cos we have to conpensate our UN gorgeasness...if u catch my drift...even if we're younger, or uglier, or diffrent style, preppy, emo, scene,goth, goofy, shorter, taller black blue or green.

maybe youlle find someone. diffrent than yourself, that you find a connection.

okay so this is what im asking from YOU. go to someone one Buzznet completely diffrent from yourself and chalk up a conversation.

ill call it yansi's social expirament.

u guys comment if your doing it and if you can afterwards tell me what happens!

DONT BE SHY!=)

Hope you love it!

~mT

***********(Gabriela)****************************

Me and Tom lay side by side covered only by the thin sheet, Tom was still panting.

“OMYFUCKING GOD that was AMAZING” I cried with excitement.

“Well what did you expect, I’m tom.” He said his voice proud. I turned on my side and looked at him for a while.

“im hungry…we should get popcorn. OMYGOD I love popcorn” I got out of bed and dressed. Tom watched me from the bed.

“Maybe we should go see a movie…and eat popcorn there” Tom suggested.

“HHmm good idea…we should go like now!”

“lets go!” said tom jumping out of bed to get dressed. We got a cab and told him to take us to a movie theatre and after much much traffic we made it.

************(Cheetah)********************************************

“yea um can I have a ticket to O’hare please”

“fer when wood chu to take your flight”

“uhm the sooner the better please”

“we habe a flight leafing today, wood you like that one?”

“that would be perfect”

“it leaves in two hours here you go” the lady said handing her a boarding pass. I made my way through the airport to my terminal, I could tell my eyes were huge from crying I could feel the preture around my eyes. My lids were heavy so I closed them, but stayed awake. “oh my gawd oh my gawd…” I mumbled under my breath.

Would rows 1-6 please board the aircraft

Cheetah was bolted awake by the over head speaker. She shuffled to the lady taking tickets, she was a bestselling author ofcourse she wouldn’t fly coach. Walked down the long corridor with a sickly sweet smell. Each thruck my suit cases wheels made a stab through my heart, informing me how much farther from Bill I was getting. But I Cheetah would not shed another tear for a sex crazed rich teen. I sat in my seat with a stern face and crossed my arms across my chest to protect the tearing pain happening in my throat and chest.

“ello there” I looked up at the English accent, which knocked the surprise out of me for a minute. There stood a young man 20-21 maybe.

“hey.” I replied. His eyes looked wild his hair matched. The lazer green of his eyes contradicted the jet black of his hair. He took a seat next to me.

“its nice to see I get a beautiful, successful young lady, sitting next to me for once.” He said. I felt myself blush. “hello Cheetah, I truly loved your book, I’m john” he stuck out his hand for me to shake. I shook it. From that moment I knew we would become rapid friends in these 5 hours we had of flight. We talked about everything, a lot from his life as he felt entitled after reading my book. And I told him of mine and bills break up. And of course who Bill was.

Thank you for flying united, we hope you had an enjoyable flight. We will be arriving in o’hare airport

We both looked up and laughed. It hadn’t felt like 5 hours at all. “so,” started john “ you haven’t a place to stay do you?”

“no not really but I think I can deal, I can get a hotel room im sure”I replied.

“Non sense you will stay with me until u find your own place….its wat friends are for no?” he said cocking his head in the last bit. Just like bill used too. This brought a spasm of both joy and pain.

“I guess it can’t hurt…BUT just for a few days. I will not overstay my welcome” I said I knew I couldn’t stay with him more than the first night.

“Cheetah your welcome is almost impossible to overstay in my home” I blushed.

“thanks. Well lets head out, yeh?” people where already filing thru the narrow walkway. John got our bags down from the over head compartment and we headed out to the parking lot. We got into johns black prius.

            “Wow nice apartment.” I said walking into the shabby loft. It was nice in its own way. I loved it. There where windows all over the roof, and only two rooms this one. And the bathroom. But the first room had 2 different levels, the top one had a mattress, his bed, and the bottom the Kitchen, and the living area. There was a futon in it. He stretched it out and made it a bed.

 “Cheers.” He thanked. “here you get settled, and I’ll get showered and shit”

“will do.” I said dragging my suitcase over to the futon.

“you can take what ever you like from the refrigerator, I’m sure you’re famished” he shuffled to the bathroom as I set my pj’s on the bed and took out my cosmetics bag and set it next to it. And made my way over to the fridge, I took out an apple that looked decent enough to eat. I took one bite and realized how hungry I was when it hurt once it reached my stomach. I ate it up and grabbed a glass of water. And sat at the counter and stared at the buildings out the skylight. I was startled when john opened the door to the bathroom. “aah I feel much better” he said toweling his wet hair, I couldn’t help but notice he was topless jus wearing low slung pajama pants. I couldn’t keep my eyes off his chest, much meatier than bill’s…GOD CHEETAH stop it. You love Bill, and he broke your heart stop drooling over some twenty two year old! I looked at my pj’s on the bed,

“well I guess its my turn” I said quickly before I could reveal the lump in my throaght with wavy cry talk. I picked up my stuff  and hurried to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and sobbed. Bill…Bill….I…love…you. I chanted as the tears came down. I quickly took a shower and brushed my teeth. I opened the door and rammed straight into johns chest. The jolt rocked tears back into my eyes, john wrapped his arms around me. I stood on my tiptoes reaching for his lips but he was too tall and didn’t understand what I was doing, instead I kissed his jawline, he immediately understood and looked down to kiss my lips I pushed him towards the stairs of the upper level with his bed, and we went step by step. Until we dropped on his bed, I slid his pants off as he pulled my shirt, he rolled ontop of me, my back arched as he entered, I bit his shoulder to contain my moaning, causing him to pant. I opened my eyes and watched his face full of pleasure from, only lit by the moon lit seeping through the window. Oh shit…no condom. I didn’t care if he got me pregnant. He came out and kissed me more. Once it got chilly we snuck under the covers and fell asleep.

“Good morning sunshine” said John giving me a warm kiss. I smiled, almost forgetting Bill,

“morning” I got out of bed and got dressed.

“Hey Cheetah, theres no breakfast wanna go get some?”

“sure sure” I said half awake. We bundled up for the cold winter, and headed out. We silently ate our breakfast, recalling the intamcies of last night. When I heard John choke on his eggs. “Cheetah” he gasped “we didn’t use a condom”

“I know” I replied in a monotone.he looked at me puzzled.

“but wat if I got you pregnant?!”he retorted

“you coulndtve im on the pill” I lied

“oh” I saw the wave of relief spread over him.

****

“john?” I asked at the door of the apartment building.

“yeh”

“is it alright if I go see some people, now?” I asked

“yea sure no problem…see ya here for dinner?

“yea definitely” I gave him a soft short peck and raced towards my old street, which was pretty far so I had time to think. Why the hell did I have sex with John…I didn’t want to have sex with the man I really loved…maybe I was proving to him in a sick way that I could have sex if I wanted to…that I was trying to hurt him…hurt bill…for what he did to me…what he’s put me through…or maybe the fact that I loved him was why I didn’t want to. I kept rambling about in my head like this for a while, it all stopped in one dreadful moment with a deafening sound followed by a paralyzing pain. I gasped for air and clutched my side, by my lack of air I was sure I’d been shot in the lung…I..was bleeding out…would not live much…

************************************************************************

Prologue

Tom and Gabriela*****

After vacation, which sure was great for those two. They each went their own ways, promising to meet up once Tokio Hotel went to rome…one promise never followed. Tom went on to never marry and stay a bachelor until his last breath. He was never alone, he had his brother bill.
            Gabriela went on to bigger and greater things. Is now a band manager, in Italy.

Gustav and Georg*****
            their lives went as their looks…ordinary, they got married after the band broke up when the boys decided to grow up and have families, had children.

Bill***

He was heartbroken when cheetah left, but the world waits for noone. And he soon forgave and forgot.

********(10 years later)***********(bill POV)**************

I held my sons hands as we walked down the streets in Chicago. We never did make it as big here as in Europe. He thought as he walked freely through the road. It wasn’t neccesarilly one of the expensive roads…but those where more likely for us to come across some die hard fan. We past an old looking building, which had a man coming out the door, his shoulders were hunched, and his face pain stricken. His brilliant green eyes dull in a way. I walked past him and felt a cold breeze, odd its mid-summer, there hasn’t been a breeze since we got here…

*******************************************************

some people like Bill forget…others may not forget like John…………………but ghost….oh they never forget.

*****************************************************************

FIN

what:las lost on tour

where: here retard

when: july 30th 2008 8 00pm central time

BE THERE if you really love this series...and show me sum love!!!!!!!!!!!!



im really proud of this chapter! so trash it if you will but the literature kicks ass!

its not really the end it wuz jus the perfect end to that chapter....dont ya think!?! yesh i kno im mean and evil that way.

but yea im sorry i write these cuz i fills in my guilt for NOT posting the chapter sooner, but yea.

THATS ALL PPLs

im here all thru the week

~mT

*****************(Cheetah)****************************

“bill! You here??” I saw him lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. “hey” I said lying next to him.

“hey” he replied, I could see there was something wrong.

“whats up?”

“nothing” he said.

“I know somethings up” I stated

“nope nothing”

“bill there’s something wrong and I know it” we turned and faced each other.

“cheetah do you not like me anymore, have you grown bored of me? Am I not man enough for you?”

“WHAT THE FUCK?” I yelled standing on the mattres.

“IF YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE I DON’T SLEEP WITH YOU THES YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE” I jumped off the bed and stomped out of the room.

“CHEETAH GET BACK HERE” he yelled after me walking towards me.

“NO!” I yelled back beginning to run, Bill chased me. But I was fast.

“Cheetah please! Talk to me” Bill cried. He finally caught up to me when the stairway door took me a while to open. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.

“Bill im tired of this, you can’t trust me anymore” I said looking into his eyes “I don’t think this relationship is going to work out” I could barely get this through the lump in my throaght my eyes stung. “bye Bill”

I never understood what people thing is so discusting?

BOYS say that its ok for girls to be lesbians, and that its discusting when two boys kiss and love eachother! My darling boys, you just discriminated your own sex.

I get so MAD! If people love eachother, WHY should someone go and tell them that their love is nasty and say to them " ew, you guys are repulsive!!" ?! What is that all about?

Ok, fine i'm all for freedom of speach, but this is totally getting out of hand! Homosexuals are the worlds most discriminated people, and for what?! Loving eachother? Let me tell you something;

LOVE KNOWS NO SEXUALITY!

And i found this thing on the internett about discrimination of gay's:

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me. I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends i'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me